我二十六岁那年，一个人来到这座城。
Wǒ èr shí liù suì nà nián, yí gèrén lái dào zhè zuò chéng.
The year I turned twenty-six, I came to this city alone.
工作是新的，房子是租的，朋友一个没有。
Gōngzuò shì xīn de, fángzi shì zū de, péngyou yí gè méiyǒu.
The job was new, the room was rented, and I had not a single friend.
头一个月，我最怕的是周末。
Tóu yí gè yuè, wǒ zuì pà de shì zhōumò.
In that first month, what I feared most was the weekend.
周末没有工作，屋子安静得吓人。
Zhōumò méiyǒu gōngzuò, wūzi ānjìng de xiàrén.
There was no work on weekends, and the room was frighteningly quiet.
我把电视开着，只为了有点声音。
Wǒ bǎ diànshì kāi zhe, zhī wèile yǒu diǎn shēngyīn.
I kept the television on just to have some sound.
其实演的什么，我一句也没有听进去。
Qíshí yǎn de shénme, wǒ yí jù yě méiyǒu tīng jìnqù.
In fact I did not take in a single word of what was playing.
一个人吃饭，是最先要学会的事。
Yí gèrén chī fàn, shì zuì xiān yào xuéhuì de shì.
Eating alone was the first thing I had to learn.
起初的那些日子，我总是站在厨房里吃完。
Qǐchū de nàxiē rìzi, wǒ zǒngshì zhàn zài chúfáng lǐ chī wán.
In those first days, I always ate standing in the kitchen.
连坐下来吃都觉得麻烦。
Lián zuò xiàlái chī dōu juéde máfan.
Even sitting down to eat felt like too much trouble.
吃完的碗堆在那里，明天再说。
Chī wán de wǎn duī zài nàlǐ, míngtiān zàishuō.
The finished bowls piled up where they were; tomorrow would do.
后来我告诉自己，吃饭就要坐下来。
Hòulái wǒ gàosu zìjǐ, chī fàn jiù yào zuò xiàlái.
Later I told myself, if you eat, you sit down.
一个人，也要好好做菜。
Yí gèrén, yě yàohǎo hǎo zuò cài.
Alone or not, you cook properly.
菜放在盘子里，汤倒在碗里。
Cài fàng zài pánzi lǐ, tāng dào zài wǎn lǐ.
The dish goes on a plate, the soup goes in a bowl.
坐下来，慢慢吃，不玩手机。
Zuò xiàlái, màn màn chī, bù wán shǒujī.
Sit down, eat slowly, and do not play with your phone.
这是我学会的一个人吃饭的办法。
Zhè shì wǒ xuéhuì de yí gèrén chī fàn de bànfǎ.
This was the way I learned to eat alone.
好好吃饭以后，日子好像也没有那么难了。
Hǎohǎo chī fàn yǐhòu, rìzi hǎoxiàng yě méiyǒu nàme nán le.
Once I ate properly, the days seemed less hard.
学会一个人看电影，是更难的一关。
Xuéhuì yí gèrén kàn diànyǐng, shì gèng nán de yì guān.
Learning to watch a film alone was a harder test.
我怕的不是黑暗，是散场时的人群。
Wǒ pà de bú shì hēi’àn, shì sǎn chǎng shí de rénqún.
What I feared was not the dark, but the crowd when the film ended.
一双一双，一群一群，只有我是一个人。
Yì shuāng yì shuāng, yì qún yì qún, zhǐyǒu wǒ shì yí gèrén.
Couples and groups everywhere, and only I was alone.
我坐在最后一排，怕碰见认识的人。
Wǒ zuò zài zuìhòu yì pái, pà pèngjiàn rènshi de rén.
I sat in the very back row, afraid of running into anyone I knew.
有一回我坐到人都走光了才起身。
Yǒu yì huí wǒ zuò dào rén dōu zǒu guāng le cái qǐ shēn.
Once I sat until everyone had gone before I got up.
打扫的人看着我笑。
Dǎsǎo de rén kàn zhe wǒ xiào.
The cleaner looked at me and smiled.
她说，电影完了，回家吧。
Tā shuō, diànyǐng wán le, huí jiā ba.
She said, the film is over, go home.
就在那一刻，我忽然不怕了。
Jiù zài nà yí kè, wǒ hūrán bú pà le.
Right at that moment, I suddenly stopped being afraid.
原来一个人看电影，也就是看电影。
Yuánlái yí gèrén kàn diànyǐng, yě jiùshì kàn diànyǐng.
It turns out that watching a film alone is just watching a film.
怕的是别人看见我一个人。
Pà de shì biérén kànjiàn wǒ yí gèrén.
What I feared was other people seeing me alone.
其实根本没有人在看我。
Qíshí gēnběn méiyǒu rén zài kàn wǒ.
In fact, nobody was looking at me at all.
大家都看着电影，谁有空看我。
Dàjiā dōu kàn zhe diànyǐng, shéi yǒu kōng kàn wǒ.
Everyone was watching the film; who had time to look at me?
学会一个人走路，是在那年秋天。
Xuéhuì yí gèrén zǒulù, shì zài nà nián qiūtiān.
I learned to walk alone that autumn.
我沿着河走，走过一座又一座桥。
Wǒ yán zhe hé zǒu, zǒu guò yí zuò yòu yí zuò qiáo.
I walked along the river, crossing bridge after bridge.
看到好看的，就停下来看。
Kàn dào hǎokàn de, jiù tíng xiàlái kàn.
When something looked good, I stopped and looked.
不用等谁，也不用追谁。
Búyòng děng shéi, yě búyòng zhuī shéi.
I did not have to wait for anyone or catch up with anyone.
走到天黑，就坐车回家。
Zǒu dào tiān hēi, jiù zuò chē huí jiā.
When it got dark, I took the bus home.
一个人的路，越走越安静。
Yí gèrén de lù, yuè zǒu yuè ānjìng.
Walking alone, the road grows quieter and quieter.
安静到后来，我开始跟路边的猫说话。
Ānjìng dào hòulái, wǒ kāishǐ gēn lùbiān de māo shuōhuà.
It grew so quiet that, in time, I began talking to the cats by the road.
一个人在外面，最难的是生病。
Yí gèrén zài wàimiàn, zuì nán de shì shēngbìng.
Alone away from home, the hardest thing is falling ill.
那年冬天我病了三天。
Nà nián dōngtiān wǒ bìng le sān tiān.
That winter I was sick for three days.
病着的时候，连烧水的力气都没有。
Bìng zhe de shíhou, lián shāo shuǐ de lìqi dōu méiyǒu.
While I was sick, I did not even have the strength to boil water.
一个人去医院，一个人排队拿药。
Yí gèrén qù yīyuàn, yí gèrén páiduì ná yào.
I went to the hospital alone and queued alone for my medicine.
打针的时候，没有人帮我拿衣服。
Dǎzhēn de shíhou, méiyǒu rén bāng wǒ ná yīfu.
When I got the injection, there was nobody to hold my coat.
旁边的一位阿姨看不过去。
Pángbiān de yí wèi āyí kàn búguò qù.
An auntie in the next bed could not bear to watch.
她帮我倒水，帮我盖被子。
Tā bāng wǒ dào shuǐ, bāng wǒ gài bèizi.
She poured water for me and pulled the quilt over me.
她也是一个人住院，孩子都在外地。
Tā yě shì yí gèrén zhùyuàn, háizi dōu zài wàidì.
She was in the hospital alone too; her children were all away in other cities.
我们互相照顾了五天。
Wǒmen hùxiāng zhàogù le wǔ tiān.
We looked after each other for five days.
她给我讲她孩子的事，我给她倒水。
Tā gěi wǒ jiǎng tā háizi de shì, wǒ gěi tā dào shuǐ.
She told me about her children, and I poured water for her.
出院的时候，我们成了朋友。
Chūyuàn de shíhou, wǒmen chéng le péngyou.
When we left the hospital, we had become friends.
她说，一个人，也要把自己当客人待。
Tā shuō, yí gèrén, yě yào bǎ zìjǐ dāng kèrén dāi.
She said, even alone, you must treat yourself as a guest.
她的话，我想了很久很久。
Tā dehuà, wǒ xiǎng le hěn jiǔ hěn jiǔ.
I thought about her words for a long, long time.
客人来了要好好待，自己一个人，也该好好待。
Kèrén lái le yàohǎo hǎo dāi, zìjǐ yí gèrén, yě gāi hǎohǎo dāi.
Guests must be treated well; alone with yourself, you deserve the same.
回家以后，我给自己买了一束花。
Huí jiā yǐhòu, wǒ gěi zìjǐ mǎi le yí shù huā.
After I got home, I bought myself a bunch of flowers.
插在水里，放在桌子上。
Chā zài shuǐ lǐ, fàng zài zhuōzi shàng.
I set them in water and put them on the table.
房间忽然像个家了。
Fángjiān hūrán xiàng gè jiā le.
The room suddenly felt like a home.
原来家这个东西，是可以自己给自己的。
Yuánlái jiā zhège dōngxi, shì kěyǐ zìjǐ gěi zìjǐ de.
It turns out a home is something you can give yourself.
现在，我已经能一个人做很多事了。
Xiànzài, wǒ yǐjīng néng yí gèrén zuò hěn duō shì le.
Now I can already do many things alone.
一个人吃饭，一个人旅行，一个人搬家。
Yí gèrén chī fàn, yí gèrén lǚxíng, yí gèrén bānjiā.
Eating alone, traveling alone, moving house alone.
也学会了想谁就给谁打电话。
Yě xuéhuì le xiǎng shéi jiù gěi shéi dǎ diànhuà.
I also learned to call whoever I miss.
想母亲了，就说说今天吃了什么。
Xiǎng mǔqīn le, jiù shuō shuō jīntiān chī le shénme.
When I missed my mother, I called and told her what I had eaten that day.
一个人不是把心关起来。
Yí gèrén bú shì bǎ xīn guān qǐlái.
Being alone does not mean closing your heart.
是把日子也过得有声音。
Shì bǎ rìzi yě guò de yǒu shēngyīn.
It means giving your days a sound of their own.
上周末，部门里一位新来的同事问我。
Shàng zhōumò, bùmén lǐ yí wèi xīn lái de tóngshì wèn wǒ.
Last weekend, a new colleague in my department asked me.
她问我，周末一个人做什么。
Tā wèn wǒ, zhōumò yí gèrén zuò shénme.
She asked what I do alone on weekends.
我说，先好好给自己做一顿饭。
Wǒ shuō, xiān hǎohǎo gěi zìjǐ zuò yí dùn fàn.
I said, first I cook myself a proper meal.
再去河边走五站路。
Zài qù hé biān zǒu wǔ zhàn lù.
Then I walk five stops along the river.
晚上看一部老电影，哭也没关系。
Wǎnshang kàn yí bù lǎo diànyǐng, kū yě méi guānxi.
At night I watch an old film, and it is fine if I cry.
她看着我，问这样不难过吗。
Tā kàn zhe wǒ, wèn zhèyàng bù nánguò ma.
She looked at me and asked whether that did not make me sad.
我说，难过是自己的，高兴也是自己的。
Wǒ shuō, nánguò shì zìjǐ de, gāoxìng yě shì zìjǐ de.
I said, the sadness is mine, and so is the happiness.
一个人的时候，两样都归自己。
Yí gèrén de shíhou, liǎng yàng dōu guī zìjǐ.
When you are alone, both belong to you.
她点了点头，又摇头。
Tā diǎn le diǎntóu, yòu yáo tóu.
She nodded, then shook her head.
她还年轻，这些事要慢慢学。
Tā hái niánqīng, zhèxiē shì yào màn màn xué.
She is still young; these things are learned slowly.
我想起从前那个站在厨房里吃饭的人。
Wǒ xiǎng qǐ cóngqián nàge zhàn zài chúfáng lǐ chī fàn de rén.
I thought of the person who used to eat standing in the kitchen.
她用了很长很长的时间，才学会坐下来。
Tā yòng le hěn cháng hěn cháng de shíjiān, cái xuéhuì zuò xiàlái.
It took her a very, very long time to learn to sit down.
学会一个人，不是为了不需要谁。
Xuéhuì yí gèrén, bú shì wèile bù xūyào shéi.
Learning to be alone is not about needing nobody.
人这一生，总有一段路要自己走。
Rén zhè yìshēng, zǒng yǒu yí duàn lù yào zìjǐ zǒu.
In this life, there is always a stretch of road you must walk yourself.
是为了再见谁的时候，能好好在一起。
Shì wèile zàijiàn shéi de shíhou, néng hǎohǎo zài yìqǐ.
It is so that when you meet someone, you can be truly together.
桌子上，我给自己买的花开了。
Zhuōzi shàng, wǒ gěi zìjǐ mǎi de huā kāi le.
On the table, the flowers I bought myself have opened.
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