Néng bāng wǒ ge máng ma?
Could you do me a favour?
Safe with anyone
The all purpose ask. It announces a favour is coming before you say what it is, giving them a polite exit if they need one.
REAL SPOKEN CHINESE
How do you ask for a favour in Chinese?
Soften the ask and show you know it costs them something. Chinese favours come wrapped in phrases like when it is convenient for you or sorry to trouble you, and the ask often closes with a promise to repay, dinner next time being the classic. The bigger the favour, the thicker the wrapping.
Máfan nǐ yíxià.
Sorry to trouble you for a moment.
Safe with anyone
For small asks: passing something, watching your seat, a quick question. The mafan acknowledges the cost even when the cost is tiny.
Yǒu ge shì xiǎng qǐng nǐ bāngmáng.
There is something I would like your help with.
Safe with anyone
The formal opener for a real favour, the kind you think about before sending. The vagueness is deliberate: details come after they say go ahead.
Nǐ fāngbiàn de shíhou bāng wǒ kànkan?
When it suits you, could you take a look for me?
Safe with anyone
Handing them the schedule is the courtesy. It costs you nothing and makes a busy person far more likely to say yes.
Bāng ge máng bei.
Give me a hand, will you?
Friends and coworkers
The bei makes it light, so this only works for small things between peers. Asking your landlord this way would sound careless.
Zhè shì zhǐyǒu nǐ néng bāng wǒ.
You are the only one who can help me with this.
Friends and coworkers
Flattery as leverage, and it works precisely because it is probably true. Chinese listeners hear the respect inside the pressure.
Gǎitiān qǐng nǐ chīfàn.
Dinner is on me sometime.
Friends and coworkers
The standard repayment promise, tacked onto the end of the ask. Everyone knows the dinner may be abstract, the offer itself is the thanks.
Jiānghú jiùjí!
Emergency, I need you!
Friends and coworkers
Half joking code between young friends for lend me money or cover for me. The humour admits you are shameless, which is why it works.
Qiú nǐ le.
I am begging you.
Close friends only
Real pleading dressed as theatre. Fine with a close friend, but beg your boss this way and you both lose dignity.
What the labels mean
- Safe with anyone
- Fine at work, fine with your partner's parents.
- Friends and coworkers
- Normal among people your own age. Skip it with elders, clients and officials.
- Close friends only
- Carries a swear or an insult. Only with people who would swear back.
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