Nǐ shì nǎli rén?
Where are you from?
Safe with anyone
The number one opener in China. Hometown is identity, and everyone has a ready answer plus a follow up about their local food.
REAL SPOKEN CHINESE
How do you make small talk in Chinese with someone you just met?
Ask small questions about the safe topics: where they are from, food, the weather, work, the kids. In China these read as warmth, not prying, and a simple have you eaten still works as an opener with the older generation. What feels nosy in English is often just friendliness in Chinese.
Chīfàn le ma?
Have you eaten?
Safe with anyone
A greeting, not an invitation. Around mealtimes with older people this is pure hello, and the correct answer is yes, whether or not you ate.
Zhè tiānqì zhēn gòu rè de.
This weather is really something.
Safe with anyone
Weather works exactly like in English, a shared complaint with zero risk. Swap in cold or rainy as the season demands.
Nǐ háizi duō dà le?
How old is your kid?
Safe with anyone
Once you know they have children this is the warmest question you can ask. Parents will talk for ten minutes and like you for it.
Lái zhèr duōjiǔ le?
How long have you been here?
Safe with anyone
For anyone visibly not local, including foreigners. It invites a story, and stories are what small talk runs on.
Nǐ zhù de yuǎn ma?
Do you live far away?
Safe with anyone
Commute talk is universal bonding in Chinese cities. Everyone has a horror story about the subway at rush hour.
Nǐ yě shì zuò zhè háng de?
Are you in this line of work too?
Friends and coworkers
At any work gathering this finds common ground instantly. Note hang, the row or trade reading, not the walk reading.
Zuìjìn máng shénme ne?
What has been keeping you busy lately?
Friends and coworkers
The default opener between acquaintances who already know each other. It assumes busyness, which in Chinese is a compliment.
Huítóu jiā ge Wēixìn?
Shall we add each other on WeChat?
Friends and coworkers
How small talk ends when it went well. Asking for WeChat is the modern form of I enjoyed meeting you.
What the labels mean
- Safe with anyone
- Fine at work, fine with your partner's parents.
- Friends and coworkers
- Normal among people your own age. Skip it with elders, clients and officials.
- Close friends only
- Carries a swear or an insult. Only with people who would swear back.
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