Jīntiān bú tài fāngbiàn.
Today isn't great for me.
Safe with anyone
The workhorse soft no. Nobody ever asks what exactly is inconvenient, and that is the point.
REAL SPOKEN CHINESE
How do you say no in Chinese without sounding rude?
A flat no is rare in Chinese. People turn it into a reason, a delay or an apology, and the listener treats the softening itself as the answer. Which one you reach for depends on who is asking: a friend gets a joke, a colleague gets a reason, a stranger gets an apology.
Wǒ kànkan a.
Let me have a look.
Friends and coworkers
Very often means no. If nothing follows within a day, it was a no.
Xiàcì yídìng!
Next time for sure!
Friends and coworkers
Warm and cheerful, and both of you know there may never be a next time. Said with a smile.
Zhēn de bàoqiàn, wǒ yǒu ānpái le.
I'm really sorry, I already have plans.
Safe with anyone
Safe for a client, a teacher or your partner's parents. You never have to say what the plans are.
Zhège wǒ kǒngpà zuò bù liǎo.
I'm afraid I can't take this one on.
Safe with anyone
The work version. Kongpa carries the apology, so the sentence lands as regret rather than refusal.
Yàobù xiàhuí ba.
How about next time instead.
Friends and coworkers
Yaobu opens a door while closing this one, which is why it never sounds harsh.
Wǒ shízài méi kòng.
I genuinely have no time.
Safe with anyone
Shizai is the word doing the work. Without it the sentence sounds like an excuse.
Suàn le ba, wǒ bú qù.
Forget it, I'm not going.
Close friends only
Blunt and final. Only with friends who would say the same back to you.
Bié fán wǒ le, xíng ma?
Stop bugging me, alright?
Close friends only
This is a real no with an edge on it. Aimed at anyone outside your close circle it will cause offence.
What the labels mean
- Safe with anyone
- Fine at work, fine with your partner's parents.
- Friends and coworkers
- Normal among people your own age. Skip it with elders, clients and officials.
- Close friends only
- Carries a swear or an insult. Only with people who would swear back.
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